Tuesday 4 September 2012 by Spacey

Ninjas hit by Stealth Tax

The introduction of a new tax that will require people to pay a charge on any surreptitious and stealthy activity has been condemned by UK based Ninja groups.

Ninjas, sometimes referred to by show-offs as Shinobi, have slammed the government’s proposals, that will require people to ‘declare stealth’ as both unfair and a contradiction in terms.

The government have defended the move and insisted that numerous areas of stealthiness will remain completely unaffected by the tax.

“Summoning the elements, walking on water and invisibility will not be subject to tax,” said a government spokesman.

“However, we will be focusing our attention on achievable activities such as climbing trees, hiding in the foliage, making owl noises and standing behind curtains.”


Critics have warned that taxing people on the very basics of hiding will discourage them from attempting full-blown ninjary, leading to detection avoidance techniques such as shapeshifting becoming a thing of the past as well as the imagination.

A spokesman for the Barnsley branch of the covert advice group Ninja Unawareness, leapt out of nowhere to urge the government to reconsider its plans.

“This unjust attack on the ninja community’s aim of fulfilling mission objectives by embarking on clandestine activities is outrageous,” he said blending perfectly into the background.

“A ninja without stealth is no longer a ninja, he is a man with a basket over his head.”

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