by A highly-regarded Spanish fresco that was damaged by an 80 year-old woman is of such quality, officials for the British Turner prize have made it an early front runner for next year’s award.
Ecce Homo (Behold the Man) by Elias Garcia Martinez has held pride of place in the Sanctuary of Mercy Church near Zaragoza for more than 100 years, but now resembles something the parents of a toddler would pin to their fridge.
A spokesperson for the Turner Prize explained, “Sure, the artist might be a Spanish octogenarian, and this is a prize for British artists, but just look at it – it is truly breathtaking.”
“Anyone who has seen our previous winners will know that we value the incomprehensible, and where others see a child-like attempt to draw a human face, we see a tortured soul desperately seeking redemption.”
“Or something.”
Spanish Fresco
Art fans around the country have acknowledged the hidden genius in the revised painting, with some already dubbing it “Balaclava Jesus doing Stephen Hawking”.
Fan of the arts Simon Williams told us, “If I look at a piece of art and find myself asking, ‘what the fuck is this all about then’, it tends to do well in the Turner prize. So I’m expecting big things of this piece.”
“If she wants a guaranteed win maybe she should think about stapling some dirty knickers to it, or submerging it in a tank of formaldehyde?”
