Monday 6 August 2012

Mars Curiosity begins search for life more intelligent than average Facebook commenter

NASA’s Mars rover ‘Curiosity’ will today begin its search for intelligent life capable of understanding a Facebook post and commenting in a coherent manner.

The ambitious mission began as the rover landed at 6:30 GMT this morning, and is set to last two years as the device scours the surface of the red planet for life forms that put their brains in gear before hitting a keyboard.

A NASA spokesperson issued a cautious statement, telling reporters, “We need to set expectations correctly. The odds on us finding such a life form are slim, as it’s already near impossible to find one in some of the more densely populated towns in the UK.”

“We’ve found algae in the middle of the Pacific ocean with better impulse control than half the Facebook population, but the red planet might be a stretch too far.”

Curiosity Rover

Facebook users of average intelligence have welcomed the move, claiming the quality of discourse on the social networking site has taken a noticeable dip since the rise in popularity of games like Farmville.

“I’d be quite happy befriending an extra-terrestrial, if they find one,” said Facebook user Simon Williams.

“As long as they don’t send me endless game requests, post pictures claiming their particular deity will save some sick child in return for a thousand likes, or open whatever they use for a mouth without understanding a post – I’m happy.”

“Also, it wouldn’t hurt if their pictures aren’t private and they look good in a bikini.”

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