Thursday 2 August 2012

Boris Johnson gives sneak preview of Olympic closing ceremony role

London Mayor Boris Johnson gave a sneak preview of his role in the spectacular Olympic games closing ceremony yesterday afternoon, leaving eyewitness stunned.

Johnson took a sedate ride on a zipline before dangling overhead for half an hour waving two small union flags to a throng of absolutely delighted onlookers who steadfastly refused to fetch the rope or ladder he desperately requested.

After the sneak previous Johnson told reporters, “I saw the James Bond skit on Friday and insisted I have a similar role in the closing ceremony – I am the mayor of the host city after all.”

“But Danny Boyle insisted on an audition, and a public one at that, so here we are. I’m lead to believe I’ll have sparklers attached to my feet in the dress rehearsal.”

“I tend to think it went rather splendidly.”

Boris Johnson’s zipline audition

Experts in metaphors and symobism have hailed the incident, claiming the sight of bungling Tory strung up above the heads of a cheering crowd “didn’t need us to decode it”.

Simon Williams told us, “There are a number of ways to look at it, a Tory journey that started brightly as planned, but halfway through it ground to a stuttering halt, yet still those responsible remain far out of reach of the real people.”

“Or maybe it’s to do with a Tory party currently embarking on a programme of  shamelss flag waving and chest beating despite leading us into a thoroughly precarious position.”

“To be honest, this is such a gift you should just make up your own.”

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