O2 launches trauma support group for users forced to use a ‘land line’

author avatar by 11 years ago

Mobile network O2 has announced a new support group for users affected by their network issues and who have been forced into the horror of making a phone call via a land-line.

For over 24 hours some O2 users have been unable to force their particular brand of banality on their friends and acquaintances due to network problems.

Grief stricken users have been seen crying in the street due to the issue, and being told to use a normal phone has been met with derision.

As one O2 customer told us, “Use a landline? What am I, a fucking caveman?”

The trauma support group is likely to take users through the twelve steps to recovery, starting with grief and acceptance.

As one councillor explained, “They have to know that using that landline wasn’t their fault.  They may never forget, but ultimately they may be able to come to terms with it.”

O2 network issues

Experts have warned that the outpouring of emotion to this latest network outage has shown just what a pathetic species we have ultimately become.

Social Anthropologist Simon Williams explained, “So you haven’t got text messaging – big deal. Why not try a conversation with a real person for a bloody change?”

“Anyway, research has shown that since the invention of SMS only four messages have been sent that were technically ‘necessary’.”

“And all four of those were booty calls.”