Wednesday 11 July 2012

Andy Carroll loan availability alerts supermarkets

News that Liverpool boss Brendan Rodgers is willing to hear loan offers for Andy Carroll has alerted several supermarkets in need of someone to service their hard to reach top shelves.

Despite his height and long hair, Rodgers is concerned that Carroll will not fit into a style of football that relies on his feet, opening the door to other organisations to take on the young England striker.

Morrisons regional manager Simon Williams said, “Andy has been gifted genetically to be tall and quite strong, which makes him perfect for shelf-stacking.”

“And if rumours of his personal life are true, then he’ll fit right in with our Saturday staff.”

Andy Carroll loan move

However Morrisons are not expected to have it all their own way, with Asda keen to see the player racing down their aisles in the not too distant future.

Deputy store manager Sheila Matthews explained, “He would become the centre of our team here at Asda and would be valued far more highly than at Liverpool – there’s even time and a half on Bank Holidays.”

“We’ve been looking for someone to really ‘own’ the top shelves here, and frankly I could see Andy dominating this area well into his 40s.”

“He’ll still have to buy his own uniform, though.”

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