Friday 6 July 2012

Al Qaeda: ‘We wouldn’t be seen dead on a Megabus’

Terrorist organisation Al Qaeda has responded to yesterday’s M6 toll road security alert by expressing its disappointment that anyone believed they would lower themselves to detonate on a Megabus.

With early reports suggesting an Al Qaeda cell was planning to strike fear into the hearts of the godless infidels by destroying a low-cost transportation option ‘of last resort’, many were left surprised how far the terrorists had fallen.

An Al Qaeda statement explained, “We may set our sights a little lower in the post 9/11 world, but from the beacon of Western capitalism to the Preston-to-London Megabus service is frankly insulting.”

“You’ll be accusing us of planning to hijack a Ryanair flight next.”

Megabus alert

Experts in counter-terrorism have analysed the risks and claimed that the investment made in recruiting and training a potential suicide bomber makes a Megabus target look all the more ridiculous.

Former espionage consultant Simon Williams told us, “Have you ever seen the inside of a megabus? You could let off half a dozen bomb-vests and I don’t think the average commuter would notice any difference to the decor.”

“If the day ever comes when Al Qaeda genuinely want to attack the Preston to London Megabus, then I believe we’ll be able to claim the war on terror has been won.”

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