Thursday 5 July 2012

Counterfeit Higgs-Bosons flood eBay

eBay has been inundated with suspicious-looking listings from people offering a ‘unique chance to own a piece of scientific history in the colour of your choice’.

Listings with objects that resemble ping pong balls and painted golf balls are being watched by thousands of people incapable of reading a newspaper.

Regular eBay user Simon Williams told us, “I bought a Rolex on eBay for £100 once, it was a bargain and I was hooked. And this is equally as good a deal, isn’t it?”

“I mean, £200 for a Higgs Boson? Who wouldn’t want that? CERN spent billions just trying to created one, and I get mine in a display case.  More fool them.”

Higgs Boson on eBay

Watchers of the many auctions are keen to ensure they don’t get gazumped at the last minute.

Sheila Matthews told us, “I’ve been searching for a Higgs Boson that matches my curtains, and this one in ‘Wild Primrose’ will go lovely with my curtains.”

“But there are 128 watchers, and I’m not willing to go over £135.  I don’t care if it helps explain the origins of the universe, for that money I’d rather just get a lamp.”

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