NHS health reforms seriously undermining patient care, claims Ian Brady

author avatar by 11 years ago

Moors Murderer Ian Brady has described Health Secretary’s Andrew Lansley’s health reforms as ‘criminal’ after undergoing a less than satisfactory NHS experience, it has emerged.

Brady’s outburst came after he was rushed into A& E following suffering a seizure and was forced to wait up to an hour for treatment, while nurses busied themselves with a variety of alcoholics and drug users.

And the multiple killer later revealed that the ambulance that came to collect him arrived over two minutes late, seriously affecting his chances of survival.

Red-faced hospital chiefs later apologised to the child murderer and admitted that a large number of staff calling in sick had contributed to his delay in receiving treatment.

Brady in hospital

Brady, meanwhile, has been transferred to a single room with orange curtains and will be accompanied in that room at all times by two nurses, with two other members of staff on duty outside his room, leaving one remaining nurse to look after sixty patients.

Brady told us, “We have an NHS we can be proud of or at least we did have until the Tories began their meddling.”

“What I saw this week has deeply saddened me and has me concerned for the future of the health service.”

“OK, I want to die and am being kept alive by being force-fed through this plastic tube, but that’s hardly the point.”

“In spite of all that, the staff have been wonderful. My ward is cleaned once a day and I’ve got a nice view of the canal.”

“I’m seeing the physio on Tuesday and the chances are I’ll get this catheter out once I’m back on my feet.”

“But you can’t make £20bn worth of savings without affecting frontline care. Lansley should come clean and tell us the exact whereabouts of the savings he is planning to make.”

“Pass me a grape would you?”