The eight year-old daughter of Prime Minister David Cameron has failed in her heroic attempt to free herself from life within the Tory leader’s grasp.
Sources close to the eight-year old tell us she had been planning the attempt for many months, and that she was just moments away from making a run for the airport when she was discovered.
Experts have praised the eight year-old, claiming she is clearly wise beyond her years and that normally people are much older than this before they realise how little they care for David Cameron.
Simon Williams, author of Living in Oppression under Pricks told us, “Clearly this was a plan that relied on the weaknesses of her oppressors – their apparent love of alcohol.”
“When the opportunity was presented to her, she would have taken it by just sitting there in the pub like nothing was happening whilst everyone around her left. It’s a genius move, really.”
Nancy Cameron escape
The Camerons have dismissed the incident as ‘one of those things’, though Nancy has so far not been able to speak about her recapture to members of the press.
As one journalist explained, “Until we hear from Nancy herself we simply don’t know what reprisals she faces for this brazen sign of resistence.”
“She could face as much as ten more years under this regime. The poor girl.”
Meanwhile a government spokesperson explained that, “No, David Cameron returning to the pub to pick up his daughter is not technically another government u-turn.”