Friday 18 May 2012 by Spacey

Controversy as monarch living in luxury while subjects suffer hosts lunch for monarchs living in luxury while subjects suffer

A lunch being held by the Queen at Windsor castle later today has attracted controversy after it was revealed that it would be hosted and attended entirely by monarchs who live in luxury while their people suffer.

The Diamond Jubilee lunch, in which guests will celebrate being born into opulence, will be attended by heads of state who display varying degrees of selfish greed.

The King of Bahrain, Swaziland’s King Mswati III, the Galactic Empire’s Emperor Palpatine, Planet Mongo’s Ming the Merciless and Prince Philip are among controversial monarchs expected to attend the lunch.

Among those not attending the lunch are Queen Sofia of Spain and her Husband, King Juan Carlos, who broke his hip while selflessly hunting elephants in Botswana.

Jubilee lunch

The Queen, who has a personal fortune estimated to be in the region of £349m, is expected to address the guests while sat on the lap of a Foreign Office ventriloquist who will be drinking a glass of water.

Buckingham Palace said it will not comment on the attendees at the lunch, but reassured everyone that the menu would consist of the finest food and wines available, and would definitely be very, very expensive.

“The Queen’s role is to keep her mouth shut and take the money,” said a Buckingham Palace spokesperson.

“This is something she has done superbly over the last 60 years, and will continue to do for as long as she possibly can.”

“So there.”

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