Thursday 10 May 2012

North Carolina votes to maintain sanctity of cousins marrying

The US state of North Carolina has voted to outlaw gay marriage, whilst ensuring it remains an institution readily available to couples who have parents that are siblings.

The vote comes as president Barack Obama added his support for gay marriage, in a move that some are claiming he made purely to stop people suggesting he’s a Muslim.

North Carolinans have insisted they have every right to limit marriage to consenting opposite sex members, and blood relatives.

As one resident explained, “Marriage is a sacred bond between a man and a woman, who may or may not have parents with the same mom and dad.”

“We can’t have men marrying men, and women marrying women. It makes a mockery of the institution that we’ve spent years manipulating for our own purposes.”

Gay Marriage

Religious organisations across the state have campaigned for the ban, insisting that it goes against God and the teachings of the Bible.

Campaigner Margaret Matthews said, “I have spent weeks going amongst the people of this state telling them that they should vote to ban this sick filth because it says so in the Bible.”

“Of course, I chose to ignore the bit in Timothy 2:12 which says ‘no woman should have permission to teach’, as I would have had to stay home otherwise.”

“Plus we tend not to mention Deuteronomy 22:13-21, as killing every bride who isn’t a virgin wouldn’t leave us with very many marriages that go into a second day.”

“I mean come on, what’s the point in having a Bible if you can’t pick and choose the bits you want to believe in?”

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