Wednesday 9 May 2012

Secret CIA waterboarding tapes reach top of Lovefilm chart

Secret video tapes of CIA operatives torturing terrorism suspects have leapt to the top of the rental request chart, according to home movie supplier Lovefilm.

The latest figures show that 98% of all subscribers have expressed an interest in seeing the films in the near future, and certainly before they get sent a scratched copy of War Horse.

Lovefilm customer Simon Williams told us, “It was a toss up between Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, and six hours of a man chocking on a sopping wet tea-towel.”

“I quite fancied the Tom Cruise movie, but as always the missus had the last word.  She loves a bit of drama you see.”

CIA Water boarding tapes

The head of the CIA’s Counter-terrorism Center, Jose Rodriguez, narrates the films in a style which experts are describing as a cross between Sir David Attenborough and Richard Hammond on Total Wipe-Out.

View David Wilkins told us, “I’ve seen it, and it’s pretty good in parts, though I thought there was a bit too much vomiting for my liking.”

“The soundtrack was pretty much non-existent, which when you’re watching a man cry for two hours at a time makes it a bit of a chore.”

“That said, I hear that the sequel ‘Guantanamo’ is even better.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: