Tuesday 8 May 2012

Al Qaeda retaining ongoing obsession with underpants

Terrorist organisation Al Qaeda has been accused of a lack of imagination, after yet another underpant-related plot was foiled by the CIA.

A Yemen-based cell was infiltrated before they had a chance to use the new underpant device, but officials say they had spent many many months looking at men in underpants to get to the current version.

A CIA spokesperson said, “If I didn’t know better, I’d say the leaders within Al Qaeda seem rather fixated with the area directly around the male genitals.”

“I mean, they could have looked into vests for example, did they not think an explosive vest would work as well?”

“Of course it would, but then they wouldn’t get spend a few hours fitting stuff neatly around a young martyrs junk, would they?”

Underpants bomb

Terrorism experts have admitted that the latest underpant plot might actually be the work of closet terrorist homosexuals keen to remain hidden behind a veneer of infidel hatred.

As one former intelligence worker explained, “It’s actually pretty clever when you think about it. If you’re into penises, I mean.”

“They would get stoned to death for admitting their true interest, so manufacturing underpant bombs is the perfect job for them.”

“They get to play around next to cocks all day, and if any martyr thinks they’re getting a bit too close for comfort it doesn’t matter because they’ll be dead pretty soon anyway.”

“I strongly suspect the next device we’ll see is an explosive cod-piece, or a dirty bomb made from a merkin.”

Previous post:

Next post: