Football fans across Britain are facing a real challenge in deciding which team they hope loses tonight’s Premier League Manchester derby.
Billed as the ‘match of the season’ given the influence it could have in the destination of the title, those who do not support either of the clubs are trying to work which of the loathsome duo they hate more.
Andy from Liverpool mused, “United have got Fergie, Wayne Rooney, Ryan Giggs, and any selection of referees.”
“But City have Carlos Tevez, Mario Balotelli, Samir Nasri and billionaire Arab owners who think they can buy the title.”
“People criticise Liverpool but we’ve only got Luis Suarez.”
“I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to consider this one for a little while longer.”
“Can you come back to me later?”
Supporters across the country will be entranced in the hope of seeing whichever team they choose to boo and jeer lose the match and therefore become the target of endless mockery and abuse.
Arsenal fan Tim said, “You’d think I’d be against City because they tap up most of our players.”
“Then I think about United but I just can’t get behind them.”
“I think the safest bet is to picture both teams holding the league trophy, and see which image most makes you want to put your foot through a television.”
“Though to be honest, I think most people will just end up flipping a coin.”