Samantha Brick diary reveals further anguish

author avatar by 12 years ago

Daily Mail columnist Samantha Brick has hit the headlines again today after her secret diary was leaked on the Internet, giving further insight into the mind of a delusional narcissist.

Below are sample entries revealed to reporters by an unnamed source, which are already providing greater clarity on the thought processes of Mrs Brick.

Jan 27th and 28th: “Stopped to do my hair in the mirror before leaving for work, and before I knew it, it was Saturday.”

February 2nd: “The bread is mouldy – my beauty is such that it spoils baked goods in just six days, truly this is a curse.”

February 15th: “Walked past a building site earlier, so dumb-struck by my exquisite visage were the builders that their lips stopped working and wolf-whistles were rendered impossible as I passed. They also did their best to continue working and appear indifferent to my presence, but I know the truth.”

February 28th: “Enjoyed lunch today, but it was clearly so difficult for the waiter not to put his phone number on my bill. I was mightily impressed with his self-restraint. I still felt i should remind him I was a married woman – he was polite enough to pretend he had no idea what I was going on about.”

March 7th: “That same guy tried to talk to me AGAIN on the way to work this morning – that’s twenty nine days straight. Just take NO for an answer will you – and believe me, your ‘Big Issue’ pretence isn’t fooling anyone.

March 15th: “Flashed by several male drivers on way home tonight. Who says 60 mph in the middle lane of a quiet motorway attracts no attention – NO, I WON’T GO OUT WITH YOU!”

April 4th: “More love letters in the post today, particularly touched by the dog faeces in a plastic bag – the perfect metaphor for a ‘potent’ love constrained by the ‘plastic’ of societies conventions. Their unrequited love for me must be truly heart-breaking.”