The past shouldn’t affect job prospects, only physical disabilities, confirms Hoddle

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Glenn Hoddle has put his name forward for the role of England manager, insisting what happened in the past should not affect someone’s ability to be given a job, only whether they have functioning legs or not.

Former England Boss Hoddle argued that his past should not be taken into account when deciding whether he should be taken seriously by the FA as a candidate, because if it was he’d have as much chance ‘as one of those wheelchair ones on a staircase’.

Hoddle left the post as England boss in 1999 following a memorable run to the second round of the world cup after he blamed disabled people for everything bad in the world.

He had previously remarked that the disabled were so afflicted because of misdemeanours in their previous lives where they might have been priests, tube drivers or politicians.

In a remarkable climb down Hoddle stated, “I don’t think it is fair to Judge me on what went before. I mean it’s not like I murdered anyone or nothing. I just think that that people in wheelchairs were probably rapists in a past life. I can’t see the harm.”

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Hoddle on England chances

When asked if his turnaround was just a convenient way to put his face in the frame he retorted that he was not that bothered what the media thought.

“Look, it should be all about my judgment under pressure. I dropped Gazza and look what he ended up doing. Feeding kebabs on a fishing line to a murderer.”

The ex-Spurs fascist with a god complex left a final stinging remark as he sailed off on his cloud of blissful ignorance.

“If you put Redknapp in charge you’ll regret it when you arrive at the pearly gates and I’m waiting to let you in. Anyone with even a slight limp or wearing glasses can screw themselves.”

“Just don’t expect me to pick Andy Carroll. He must have done something unspeakable to be reborn as that.”