Taxing bakers is the closest we’ll get to taxing bankers, confirms government

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The government has defended its decision to slap VAT on sales of hot pasties by insisting that a tax on bakers is only one letter away from a tax on bankers.

The decision, which was announced in last week’s budget, has left pasty lovers distraught, but the government have claimed that the move is a compromise based on the strength of public opinion directed at bankers taking more responsibility for the current state of the economy.

The prime minister told a press conference that the government had listened to the public’s concerns and had taken “decisive action to ensure that a profession that is only an ‘n’ away from being bankers pays the price.”

“Everyone else needs to pull together in order to help the country as a whole to move forward into a brighter future of prosperity,” he said.

“What will always remain a priority is that very wealthy people remain in prosperity at all times.”

“Although this won’t directly impact bankers, we are hopeful that people will see this as being one step closer to doing something which we have absolutely no intention of ever doing, ever…ever!”

Pasty Tax

However, the “pasty tax” has not been popular amongst all members of government with Communities Secretary Eric Pickles believed to be on 24 hour suicide watch.

Popular High Street bakers, Greggs, could find themselves exempt from the ruling after tests showed that only about 2% of the pasties that it sells could actually be considered hot.