After the Prime Minister indicated that he might look to the continent’s toll-road model to fund investment in the nation’s roads, everyone asked why he doesn’t just spend some of the money that drivers already give him, instead.
David Cameron told reporters that the roads needed significant investment, with private cash expected to be the source of the required funding.
“Believing that the money you pay in road tax and fuel duty should be invested in the road infrastructure is typically outdated left-wing thinking,” he told reporters.
“We have other activities to fund, like lowering tax rates for high earners – which is far more important than any gaping potholes you encounter on the school run.”
“Just because a tax the word ‘road’ or ‘fuel’ in it doesn’t mean the funds have to be spent on things like ‘roads’ or infrastructure for things that consume ‘fuel’. What kind of moron thinks that way?”
Tax payers have been quick to ask what happens to the other £18 billion a year that they pay in road tax and fuel duty that doesn’t get reinvested in roads or environmental programmes.
Driver Simon Williams told us, “I already pay over £200 a year in road tax, plus about 7p in fuel duty for every mile I drive, so is it really too much to ask that our roads are in better condition than the surface of the moon?”
“It’s just a wild idea, and I’m going to throw it our there, but how about we use some of the road related taxes I pay before I’m robbed blind yet again just to get from A to bloody B?”