Thursday 15 March 2012

Starbucks inundated with coffee orders from ‘Yurrel Kuntz’

After Starbucks announced they would be calling their customer orders by name from now on, customers have responded with ever more creative names to use when buying their coffee.

After only 45 minutes of the new policy, a central London Starbucks had already seen a large Mocha prepared for ‘Seymour Butt’ and a skinny latte for ‘Oliver Nikersoff’.

Not everyone has welcomed the change in policy, with 42 year-old Hugh Jass telling us he’d already been refused service twice today.

“They thought I was taking the piss, and that my driving licence was merely a sign of dedication to the joke. Arseholes.”

“Next time I order and I’m asked my name I’ll just say ‘How about Fuck you!’.”

Starbucks using names

Starbucks regulars have spent the morning coming up new ways to humiliate the staff who obviously feel uncomfortable referring to strangers by their first names.

Simon Williams said, “I’ve been giving it a go, of course – nothing livens up a coffee run like making the staff swear at everyone accidentally.”

“I started gently with ‘Yuri Nater’, but I’m thinking I’ll step it up a notch this afternoon.”

“But I’m not sure they’ll believe my name is ‘Aymar Ped O’Fyle’. But these are career baristas, so who knows?”

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