Prince Harry has told a largely unimpressed UK that he really enjoyed his holiday at their expense in Belize, Jamaica and the Bahamas, and that he would happily do it again some time.
The 27-year-old, who is currently in Brazil, revealed that he had a great time playing in a polo match, messing about on various beaches, dancing and meeting celebrities.
“I’ve had a gas,” he told sullen-faced reporters.
“I can’t wait to get back and show everyone the photos of what a fantastic time I’m having.”
“Hopefully it will give people who can only dream of visiting these places an insight into what it’s like to not have to pay for anything – ever.”
“Honestly, it’s like winning Bullseye every day,” he enthused.
Prince Harry’s holiday
The holiday, which is part of a Diamond Jubilee tour that provides an excuse for members of the Royal family to go on holidays that don’t cost them anything, is Prince Harry’s first solo trip on his grandmother’s behalf.
Royalists have described the prince as a credit to his father, though a Buckingham Palace spokesperson was quick to reveal that Prince Charles is proud of him as well.
“Prince Harry puts his all into wanting for nothing when it comes to promoting the Royal family and UK interests overseas.”
“More often than not this involves a strenuous schedule of holidays, premieres, receiving gifts, having his arse kissed, lavish banquets and waving at people from a limousine.”
“Critics don’t realise what a hard job being a Royal is.”
“Members of the Royal family sure as shit don’t realise what a hard job it is either.”
“That’s why it’s my job to tell them it is, so they don’t feel any guilt.”