Monday 6 February 2012 by VCG

Parents rush to send children hurtling down snow-covered hills

With many parts of the country covered in snow over the weekend, normally protective parents with young children have been quick to head to their nearest park and push their offspring down hills.

“We don’t get that much snow in this country, so when we do it’s important to take advantage of the opportunity to shove the kids down as steep a hill as we can find”, said one mum, who is usually so protective of her child that she once threatened legal action against his school when he came home with a grazed knee.

“I made sure my son was wrapped up nice and warm so he wouldn’t catch a chill, then I sat him on a sledge that my husband had made out of a bit of old plywood and pushed him over the crest of a hill in the direction of a load of other kids and some metal railings.”

Father-of-three Mike Atkins added, “I never let my kids even look at their bikes without putting a cycle helmet on, but I reckon a bobble hat gives just as good cranial protection down a 45-degree slope”.

Researchers are keen to identify why the slightest bit of snow causes such drastic changes in many people’s behaviour, and believe it may stem from the same thing that causes people to forget how to drive at the first sign of a wintry shower.

“We think there may be some deep-seated psychological effect that snow has on people, temporarily impairing their judgement and reasoning skills and causing them to accelerate more when the wheels of their car are already spinning. Or to put their four year old son on a thin piece of plastic and watch him approach terminal velocity while they look on with a video camera in hand”, explained a behavioural psychologist.

“Either that or they’re hoping he’ll crash into a tree and earn them £250 from You’ve Been Framed.”

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