Friday 3 February 2012

William sent to Falklands to shout “Come on then!” across exclusion zone

Prince William has been deployed to the Falkland Islands to shout “Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough!” across the 200 mile exclusion zone surrounding the islands.

The second-in-line to the throne is a pilot with the RAF and has received special training in jabbing his forefinger out of the helicopter and shouting, “Oi! Are you looking at our islands?”

UK Defence Secretary Philip Hammond said this morning, “William’s uncle, Prince Andrew, served in a similar role in the conflict 30 years ago. He was well up for it. Mental.”

Reaction in Buenos Aires has been swift, with President Cristina Fernández de Kirchner’s friends dragging her back from making an inflammatory speech on the famous Casa Rosada balcony, shrieking, “Leave it, Cristina. It ain’t worth it.”

United Nations Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon has appealed for calm, stating that the tensions should be resolved by diplomatic means.

“Security Council Resolutions expressly forbid direct military action between one sovereign state and another. If Argentina feels that it has a claim on this territory then they should take that request to the International Court of Justice at the Hague.”

He then added, “Come on, we’ve all had a drink”.

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