Following another disappointing result, Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has called for his team to treat every game like a cup final in order to secure a top four finish, before quickly clarifying that he in no way means the same way they treated the Carling Cup final last season.
Wenger insisted that a Champions League place is still achievable, but admitted that “Every game in the championship is a cup final now”, leaving fans concerned that their team would enter every remaining game under-prepared and over-confident, and put in a string of poor displays which would ultimately leave them ending another season without a trophy.
“We had an actual cup final last year against Birmingham, who were battling relegation, and we managed to lose that after putting in an awful display. So why would we want to play like that every week?” said one worried season ticket holder.
“I was there at Wembley to watch us capitulate against a pretty poor side, and I’m not sure that arrogance, sloppy passing and defensive mistakes are what we’re really looking for. Surely we’d be better off trying to win the remaining games, wouldn’t we?”
Wenger moved quickly to try and clear up his comments and assured fans that he meant Arsenal should in fact treat every game “Like a trip to Old Trafford. No, hang on, not that.”
Wenger finally clarified issues when he said, “What I meant was that we should treat each game like a cup final should be treated. How it would be treated by Chelsea, Manchester United or somebody like that. You know, teams that win things.”
“And also we should keep playing Arshavin.”