Wednesday 25 January 2012 by Spacey

I’m going to set up my own league and none of you can play in it, warns Balotelli

Manchester City’s controversial striker Mario Balotelli has warned that he will leave England and set up his own league that no-one else can play in if people don’t stop telling him off.

Balotelli, who is facing a four-match ban after being charged by the Football Association with violent conduct, claims the new league will be much better than the Premier League, and all the other clubs will definitely be begging him to let them join.

Balotelli’s agent, Mino Raiola, confirmed that Balotelli had fallen asleep in front of CBeebies, but that the fiery Italian would elaborate on the details of the new league as soon as he’d had his mid-morning snack and juice.

“Mario worked himself up into a right state last night,” he revealed.

“I had to carry him around, gently jigging him up and down for over an hour before he finally got off.”

“Thank God for Calpol!”

“Seriously though, if I never hear ‘Row, Row, Row, Your Boat’ again it’ll be too soon”

Balotelli threats

The former Inter Milan player, who has issues with being told ‘no’, has been sent off three times since his move, and was unable to continue in a game against Dynamo Kiev when he suffered a crusha milkshake allergy.

Man City first-team coach David Platt said that Balotelli had a tendency to get over-tired and this could lead to confrontations, but he added that referees could take measures to diffuse situations.

“Rather than pull out a red card, referees could pull out his favourite teddy, snuggles.” he said

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