Monday 16 January 2012 by Spacey

Michael Gove attempts to troll entire country with Jubilee yacht wind-up

Education Secretary Michael Gove has launched an ambitious attempt to troll the entire UK by suggesting that taxpayers buy the Queen a new yacht to celebrate the Diamond Jubilee.

Mr Gove is believed to have spent the morning sat in his office reading Twitter and the comments section of the Guardian, while miming a fisherman reeling in his catch.

The nationwide trolling attempt was initiated in a letter that was sent to Jeremy Hunt, the culture secretary and deputy prime minister, Nick Clegg, in which Mr Gove suggested that spending at least £60m on a new royal yacht would be sure to lift the country’s spirits.

The education secretary writes: “At a time when the government launches attack after attack on the poor, sick and disabled, or what we like to call scroungers, I think it would be a gesture of goodwill to give one of our biggest scroungers a nice big boat.”

Queen’s New Yacht

The public have reacted with Caps Lock fury to the letter, despite the only logical explanation for its contents being that Mr Gove is on an epic wind-up.

Hospitals have already reported an influx of Twitter users who have been admitted to A&E with Exclamation mark keys stuck to their fingers and foreheads.

Tom Watson, the Labour party vice-chairman, hit out at Mr Gove’s suggestions, but said it might be possible to arrange some form of compromise that will suit all parties.

“There’s a luxury cruise ship currently sitting off the coast of western Italy that’s free to collect,” he revealed.

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