Friday 13 January 2012

US Marines urged to limit enemy abuse to ‘shooting them in the face’

As the US Marines responsible for urinating on dead Taliban fighters were identified, observers have insisted that the abuse of enemy combatants should be limited to trying to kill them at every single opportunity.

The world was shocked by the images of marines ‘disrespecting’ the dead bodies of Taliban fighters, with some experts claiming that you should be nice to them as soon as you’ve successfully finished being horrendously nasty to them.

Television owners Simon Williams said, “I’m not sure I understand, if you offered me the choice of being pissed upon or shot at, I know which I’d prefer.”

“On a scale of mean things you can do to Taliban soldiers, I’d say that urinating on their lifeless bodies is somewhere near the bottom – just behind prank calling and whoopie cushions.”

US Marines

Military strategists have insisted that the outrage over the incident is fully warranted.

As one explained to us, “There will be some lily-livered liberals who will tell you that firing a high-velocity trajectory into the face of a living human being is far worse than urinating on a sack decomposing meat – but I would say those people are idiots.”

“And then I would shoot them in the face.”

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