I want to become king of Narnia, reveals David Beckham

author avatar by 11 years ago

Following Eric Cantona’s revelation that he intends to enter the French presidential race, former Manchester United midfielder, David Beckham has declared his desire to become the next king of Narnia.

Beckham revealed that he made his decision to put his name forward as the future king of Narnia after watching The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

“Me and Victoria started watching a documentary about this place where it was always winter, but never Christmas,” he revealed.

“I knew straight away that I had to do something.”

With the 36 year-old fully grown adult currently weighing up his options after his contract at LA Galaxy expired, he revealed that he has written an open letter to the inhabitants of Narnia in the hope of gaining their support.

“I wasn’t sure what address to use, but a few people have gone missing in Victoria’s walk-in wardrobe, so I thought I’d try leaving it in there,” he told us.

Beckham politics move

Undeterred by claims from critics that Narnia is a fictional fantasy world created by C.S. Lewis, Beckham insisted he was determined to fulfil his aim.

“Gary Neville took me to one side and said that I would make myself look stupid if I tried to claim the throne of Narnia.”

“He suggested that Middle-earth would be more realistic, but my mind is made up.”

Beckham was quick to stress he wouldn’t commit to anything without first getting the approval of his wife.

“Victoria is a bit apprehensive about the weather and she’s expressed concerns about the lack of shoe shops, but she did say that having a talking Lion as a pet would piss all over Paris Hilton’s chihuahua and micro-pig, so I’m still hopeful.”