Milibands are not a ‘problem family’, insists Cameron

author avatar by 12 years ago

After outlining his plans to tackle so-called ‘problem families’, David Cameron has declared this does not include the Milibands, seeing them more as a ‘blessing in disguise’.

The Prime Minister identified several kinds of families that had been depicted in the media as ‘neighbours from Hell’, but said the siblings across the House of Commons have done everything in their power to make him feel comfortable.

“Their rift weakened the Labour Party in a way which still gives me the warmest, fuzziest feeling inside.” Mr Cameron said in a speech in Birmingham.

“I just want to ruffle those grey patches in their hair.”

“And once he lost the leadership contest, David has kept such a low profile in politics, which has been most considerate. In fact, I thank him every time I see him.”

The other one

“And Ed? Well, just what can you say about him?” The Prime Minister continued, evidently amused.

“Obviously, I don’t want anyone you might call a worthy adversary as Leader of the Opposition but to be gifted with that bumbling, droning extra from a Nick Park cartoon is an absolute God-send.”

“So the Milibands are not what I would call a ‘problem family’. Not at all. They pose no problems whatsoever.”