Thursday 15 December 2011

82 year-old pensioner breaks M25 circumnavigation world record

An 82 year-old pensioner thought to be lost on the M25 has set a new world record after successfully driving all the way round in a breathtaking time of just 30 hours.

Dennis Leighton set the record on Wednesday morning after a Herculean effort which experts are calling “breathtaking”.

With sub two-day navigation previously considered impossible, traffic analysts claim the new record shown what is a possible with steely determination and a willingness to sit in endless queues of stationary traffic.

A spokesperson for the Guinness Book of Records said, “This is one of those records we never thought we’d see officially set.”

“Many brave souls have tried, but no-one has ever been able to withstand the mental and physical anguish associated with prolonged periods on the M25.”

“You have to contend with unseen speed restrictions, lorries with blind spots the size of buses, and above all you’re surrounded by mid-level executive sociopaths in silver saloons.”

M25 record

Officials are already warning potential challengers not to attempt to break Mr Leighton’s record unless they have undertaken the correct training and preparation.

As one explained, “No matter where you drive, and for how long, nothing can prepare you for the challenge of the M25. It really is a jungle out there.”

“Despite being in relatively good health after his ordeal, Mr Leighton will still need a few months of counselling before we see an end to the flashbacks and the night terrors.”

“But we’re hoping to reintegrate him back into society sometime before Easter, hopefully in time to have a go at the M6 bank holiday record.”

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