Ryanair to offer first budget flights to Kepler 22-b

author avatar by 13 years ago

Budget airline Ryanair has stolen a march on the competition by offering discount flights to newly discovered Earth-like planet Kepler 22-b, flying into Kepler 22-b Luton airport.

Kepler 22-b is about 2.4 times the size of Earth and at a temperature of 22C it is likely to be more welcoming than a number of the shitholes Ryanair currently flies to.

Chief Executive Michael O’Leary said, “It is important for us to retain our position as the leading provider of cheap flights to hard to reach places.”

“I am sure you’ll all agree that Kepler 22-b is a wonderful destination to add to our roster of glamorous weekend getaways.”

“For just £20 return, excluding taxes and any other charges we can think of, we we will fly you to Kepler 22-b Luton airport, where you will be just a short 600 light year bus journey away from your final destination.”

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Ryanair Kepler 22-b return deal

Customers have already expressed their dismay at just how far outside Kepler 22-b the Kepler 22-b Luton airport actually is.

Simon Hughes told us, “I’m used to a lengthy transfer when flying with Ryanair, but I would draw the line at landing in a different country – never mind a different solar system.”

“That said, a brief wander through Luton town centre gives us a pretty good idea what primitive alien life might be like on Kepler 22-b.”