Tuesday 29 November 2011

Daily Mail berates female tram racist for spouting Daily Mail’s opinions

The Daily Mail this morning roundly condemned a South London woman for loudly expressing the sort of opinions regularly seen across the pages of its newspaper.

The woman, who has been arrested for a racially aggravated offence, is also likely to face civil charges after the paper implied she had some how managed to get hold of a copy of their editorial calendar.

A spokesperson for the paper said, “We take our editorial stance extremely seriously, and we can’t sit idly by whilst someone simply reads from our crib sheet in a public forum like a tram journey.”

“We have a full-page op-ed piece planned for Friday all about the ‘Niggeragurans’ and their threat to the British way of life – how could she possibly know about that if she hadn’t stolen it from us?”

“We will be pursuing her with the full force of the law, unless of course she makes a public statement to confirm that the opinions she so clearly articulated were not her own, but in fact belong to the Daily Mail.”

Tram racist

Regular readers of the Daily Mail have winced at the video as the racist woman desperately slurs her way through lots of sentiments that they totally agree with.

“It’s embarrassing,” said 40 year old reader Simon Jones, “It’s like watching your five year-old singing in the school play – it’s pretty awful quality, but you can’t help being proud of them by the end.”

Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre spoke of disappointment at the whole episode.

He told reporters, “Of course we were extremely saddened to see our editorial agenda reduced to the guttural slurrings of a South London moron.”

“But with a little tidying up she would make a great columnist, don’t you think?”

I think therefore I am (not a Daily Mail reader)

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