Gay man who suffered stroke develops interest in competitive Rugby Union

author avatar by 12 years ago
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Former hairdresser Chris Birch, 26, has developed an interest in playing Rugby Union after suffering a stroke which left him a conflicted heterosexual.

Birch went limp down one side after attempting a technically demanding eighties-style wedge procedure on Cambridge graduate Paul Collins using an inadequate pair of scissors in April last year.

However, following his recovery, he quit his job at the salon he worked at with boyfriend Jack, cancelled the direct debit on his civil partnership and started dating a butch-looking woman.

“I was a hetero tiger when I woke up and I still am,” he said. “I know it sounds strange but when I came round I immediately felt different. I wasn’t prepared to admit I liked cock anymore.”

“I started to neglect my appearance, piled the weight on, shaved all my hair off and began hanging round with a bunch of thick-necks called Giles, most of whom went to a public school.”

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Stroke turns gay man into rugby player

The father of three said the experience must have ‘flicked a switch’ in the part of his brain that processes rugby union.

Stroke Association spokesman Joe Korner said, “During recovery the brain makes new neural connections which can trigger things people weren’t aware of, such as accent, language or an aversion to putting things up your arse.”

And Mr Birch certainly has many regrets about his transformation.

“I’m a shadow of the old Chris now. I was such a vibrant happy-go-lucky individual. Now I stave off the guilt and depression by binge-eating and listening to Snow Patrol albums.”

“I get just as muck cock as I used to, if not more, it’s just these days I’m not expected to talk about it.”

Birch then broke off the interview, removed his trousers and downed several pints of Stella, adding, “Oh she’ll be coming round the mountain when she comes..”