Tuesday 1 November 2011

BBC facing complaints as Strictly Come Dancing sees hundreds of erections subside

Men’s groups have complained to the BBC in their hundreds after Saturday’s Strictly Come Dancing failed to provide sufficient titillation to maintain an erection throughout the broadcast.

The BBC said they had received over three hundred complaints from men across the country who insisted that the content of Saturday’s show had barely allowed them to ‘thumb out a semi’.

A spokesperson for the corporation said, “We would like to apologise to any male viewers who did not get quite what they wanted from a show based predominantly on scantily-dressed nubile young people gyrating breathlessly for your pleasure.”

“We do our best to ensure our viewers remain tumescent throughout the programme, and we will be seeking to address these issues in coming weeks.”

“In the meantime have you thought about watching it slightly delayed and just fast forwarding to the good bits?”

Strictly complaints

Men have insisted that the show either improves the amount of jiggling female flesh within its output, or they will go back to looking at things on the Internet.

Viewer Mike Matthews told us, “What sort of programme gives you the sight of an attractive Eastern European dancer wearing little more than a handkerchief, followed immediately by the gurning face of Robbie Savage?”

“It’s borderline torture, that’s what it is. I had to squint and pretend he was an ugly blond woman just to try and finish. It was highly unsatisfactory.”

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