Tuesday 25 October 2011 by Spacey

EU considering ban on excessive use of Caps Lock

Members of the public who were calling for a referendum on the UK’s membership of the European Union have been dealt a massive blow after it was revealed that plans are being considered by the EU to ban the excessive use of caps Lock when trying to emphasise a point.

After a motion to grant a referendum on EU membership was defeated by 483 votes to 111, social networks and message-boards were inundated with people expressing their dissatisfaction using capital letters and an inordinate number of exclamation marks.

“Due to events over the last year we have seen an unacceptable increase in the use of caps lock and exclamation marks,” revealed an EU spokesperson.

“We cannot rule out placing restrictions on people whose thoughts shout at them.”

New EU restrictions

Members of the public have reacted angrily to what they perceive as ‘LOONY LAWS AND MADCAP MOTIONS!!!!!’

“USING CAPITAL LETTERS AND EXCLAMATION MARKS MAKE MY VIEWS MORE VALID THAN OTHER PEOPLE’S!!!!!!!” insisted one angry contributor to the ‘Shout Your View’ section of the Sky News website.

Fears that micro-blogging website Twitter will be decimated by a Caps Lock quota reduction led to angry tweets by millions of its users.

“OMG!!! HOW AM I GOIN TO MAKE 1 DIMENSION NO HOW FIT I THINK THEY IZ???!!!!!11!” blasted an incensed TASHA97.

“I DON’T KNOW BABE!!!!! WE IZ NEED TO GET OUT OF DA EU!!!!!!LOL!!!!!!!” replied UKIP leader Nigel Farage.

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