We were inspired by the Steps reunion, admit The Stone Roses

author avatar by 11 years ago

Stone Roses members Ian Brown and John Squire have said they reconciled after seeing pop band Steps put their differences behind them in order to sell lots of records to gullible morons.

After years of animosity, Brown told reporters that the sight of ‘H’ and Claire finally standing side by side on stage allowing their now much older fans to buy the same songs all over again had given him the motivation to call John Squire.

Brown told the NME, “We’d not talked in a while, but when I mentioned Steps he was like ‘I saw that! Do you think, you know, we could…maybe’ and I was well up for it, obviously.

“We spent the night reminiscing and discussing just how deep wallets can be when you evoke a sense of nostalgia – especially among people who are now mostly in middle-management positions with decent disposable income.

“We agreed that a couple of massive gigs and maybe an EP would be enough to make us a couple of million before we shuffle back to whatever  ‘appropriate for a fifty-year-old’ thing it was we were doing before.”

Stone Roses reunion

The reunion has been welcomed by forty-year-olds everywhere who insist the opportunity to pay seventy quid to stand in a massive field miles from the stage will be the perfect replacement for their fake Spike Island anecdote.

“My ‘I was there at Spike Island story’ is wearing pretty thin, which is kind of ironic seeing as I wasn’t actually there – I was revising for my accountancy exams,” said forty-two-year-old accountant Martin Williams.

“I don’t think I’ll be heading to Heaton Park in June, I’m a bit too old for that now, but the story that I did will probably last me until 2035.”