Wednesday 12 October 2011

Katie Price to tell Oxford Union all about exploiting simpletons

Katie Price will address students at the Oxford Union and give them an insight into the business of effectively exploiting simpletons for financial gain.

The leaders of tomorrow are expected to hear about the importance of fake tan, plastic surgery and ensuring that morons will pay significant amounts of real cash money to read about what you had for breakfast.

Price will explain how she has become a best selling author, and that issuing a new autobiography every other Friday can create a business empire most blue chip companies would be proud of.

Oxford student Amelie Williams told us, “We’re regularly told how hard work and academic achievement will lead to success in later life, so it will be nice to hear how getting your tits out can do much that same thing.”

“There’s a lot we can learn from Katie Price about moron exploitation, but it seems that somehow the people she’s scraping cash from don’t feel exploited? It think it’s fair to say that’s a gift we’d all like to understand.”

“Personally I’m considering a career in politics, so her insight will prove invaluable.”

Katie Price at Oxford

Ms Price, a celebrity famous for being famous, is now running a reality show in which she will create a new celebrity who she claims will become famous for being famous.

A spokesperson for Price told us, “We’ve got X Factor and Britain’s Got Talent, but these promotional vehicles still rely on an increasingly small amount of raw talent.”

“With Signed By Katie Price we’ve completed the circle by removing that talent requirement altogether.”

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