Wednesday 28 September 2011 by Spacey

Accused doctor’s inability to moonwalk proves his guilt, claim Michael Jackson fans

The inability of Dr Conrad Murray to make commercially successful music or have a trademark dance move is proof that he is guilty of the involuntary manslaughter of Michael Jackson, claim fans of the dead pop star.

Jackson, who died after taking a lethal dose of the sedative Propofol, disproved allegations made against him of sexually abusing children by making music that people like to listen to.

“Anyone who has listened to Thriller will know that Michael wasn’t a paedophile,” revealed one devotee of the singer.

“There’s no way that I could listen to music made by a nonce without being sick, which is all the proof that anyone should need.”

“How many record breaking albums has Dr Murray made? Answer me that,” he concluded.

Jackson Doctor on trial

Jackson’s sister, LaToya, is also convinced of Dr Murray’s guilt.

“Despite not knowing all the facts I am as convinced that Conrad Murray is guilty as I am that Michael is innocent,” she said.

“If you want to know more you can read about it in my latest book called Despite Not Knowing All The Facts I Am As Convinced That Conrad Murray Is Guilty As I Am That Michael Is Innocent.”

Prosecutors have said that they will prove beyond any reasonable doubt that Dr Murray possesses no musical or dancing ability.

The defence insisted, “If people are going to determine someone’s innocence based solely on their ability to dance then Lord only knows what heinous crimes Audley Harrison has committed.”

They also urged the jury to ignore the hysteria outside the courtroom, describing Jackson’s fans as “more mental than Morrissey’s lot”.

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