Parents support teacher’s right to hit everyone else’s children

Nearly half of all parents of secondary school children believe corporal punishment such as the cane should be reintroduced for other people’s children, if they can’t be as well behaved as their own, a survey suggests.

In total, 49% of more than 2,000 parents surveyed for the Times Educational Supplement were in favour of hitting other people’s children with one half of a pair of casual footwear, or a big stick.

Parents in favour of allowing teachers to give unruly pupils a good work over have spoken of the need for education to “get tough”.

“Why would I not like this idea? I mean, my own children are angels, obviously – it’s the others that need taming.” Said one parent questioned.

46 year-old mother of three, Valerie Baines told us “Bullying is just one of many problems encountered in schools,”

“I think that the best way to show a bully that routinely beating people up is wrong, is by routinely beating them up whilst telling them it’s wrong.”

UK parents approve of caning

Mrs Baines went on, “In fact the best way to show anyone that what they are doing is wrong, is by beating the crap out of them.”

“That’s a lesson I learned when I over-cooked my husbands fried egg one morning.”

The NASUWT teachers’ union said that a failure amongst parents to adequately discipline their own children is a problem that will not be solved by corporal punishment.

“We believe that a more effective and wholly satisfying approach to this problem would be to give teachers the right to hit the parents,” explained a union spokesperson.