Friday 9 September 2011 by Spacey

Unemployed spend morning waiting for Rugby World Cup lie detector results

With coverage of the Rugby World Cup having started today on ITV at 9.30am, the nations unemployed are currently staring at the screen desperately waiting for some lie detector and paternity test results.

Alarm bells began to ring amongst some daytime TV viewers when early signs indicated that the coverage wasn’t sponsored by Foxy Bingo.

“There’s definitely something not right about this,” said 23 year old Tasha Evans.

“I’ve been sat here for 30 minutes and no-one’s told anyone to get off their lazy backsides and get a job or to bloody well put something on the end of it.”

Rugby World Cup

The Rugby World Cup Cup, which runs until October 23rd, is also expected to cause confusion and disruption to people taking a day off sick due to having a shit job.

“This isn’t working at all,” said office worker, Darren Norris, who is bravely battling against a non-existant 24-hour stomach bug.

“Why are none of these people making me feel superior to them?”

“I want no-hopers with little chance of ever achieving anything being put down and being made to look stupid.”

Scotland start their World cup campaign later today.

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