Scottish Tories may ‘break away’ to ban Dutch referees

author avatar by 12 years ago

Conservative MSP Murdo Fraser has announced he will try to ‘break away’ from the UK party if he wins the leadership election next month – in order to stiffen immigration control on football referees from the Netherlands.

He claims the party carries too much baggage and needs a new centre-right position to attract voters who want to see Dutch officials barred from the country forever.

Mr Fraser explained, “The only way we can possibly get people in Scotland to vote Conservative is to create a progressive party which preserves the identity of honest Scottish football.”

“Right now I think this will be attractive to a lot of people in Scotland who believe that any Dutch referee really doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

“David Cameron is aware of the idea, and a number of senior Conservatives in Westminster seem more than happy to get rid of us.”

Scottish Tories to avoid going Dutch

Other MSPs have voiced anger over the proposal, suggesting that the plan could go down like a Czech in the penalty box during injury-time.

“I’m proud to be a Scottish Conservative and Unionist, and especially proud of being an infuriated fan of our national football team,” argued MSP Ruth Davidson.

“A ban on Dutch match officials will give us one less set of people to blame the next time we fail to qualify for a major tournament – which is only two years away.”

“No-one will be happier with the idea than Alex Salmond, who is already the master of redirecting public anger over football towards keeping the other UK parties out of Holyrood.”