The makers of Sesame Street have said that despite significant online support for characters Bert and Ernie to marry, the couple will continue to live in sin indefinitely.
The ‘confirmed bachelors’ have lived together for 40 years and sleep in the same bedroom, albeit in single beds – though speculation is rife as what specialist equipment they keep in their love dungeon.
A spokesperson for the online campaign told us, “We’re not asking for them to ‘come out’ on a children’s show – I think anyone who has ever watched the show knows full well they go at it like Elton and David once the filming stops. The sexual tension is palpable.”
“We just think it would be nice to have a party, and to make it all official in the eyes of the law.”
“At the moment they’re teaching children that living in sin is perfectly acceptable, which is particularly distressing in today’s society where there is so much talk of family values.”
Bert and Ernie
Makers of the show insisted that there was no reason to over-sexualise the relationship between Bert and Ernie for their young audience.
They told us, “Just because two men live together for 40 years, and sleep in the same room, doesn’t mean they’re ‘together’ together.”
“Plus we’re trying to teach children that lifelong marriage is an archaic institution which has little place in a highly evolved society where most relationship are transient, at best.”
“Which is hard enough as it is using puppets.”