Wednesday 3 August 2011 by Spacey

Crimestoppers ‘most-wanted fraudsters’ list dominated by Whitehall residents

The charity Crimestoppers has released pictures and details of the most wanted fraudsters currently active in the UK, with members of the cabinet completely dominating the list.

Below we outline those characters most sought by the authorities, but we would encourage anyone with information to call Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111

David Cameron David ‘Dave’ Cameron – This cold-hearted and callous con-man urged people to give their time and money to charity before spending cuts saw him make off with around £100m in funding. Easily recognisable because of a large shiny forehead just above his eyebrows.
George Osborne George ‘Gideon’ Osborne – Wanted in connection with stealing from the poorest in society.  Police have urged the public not to approach him as he is considered extremely condescending.
Nick Clegg Nick Clegg – Believed to be working as leader of a gang of small-time fraudsters. Gained the trust of students before helping to steal their education.
Iain Duncan Smith Iain Duncan Smith – Preys on the unemployed and disabled using tactics of fear and intimidation. Encouraged gullible employers to ignore employment law by opening up job vacancies exclusively to people who don’t have a foreign-sounding name.
Andrew Lansley Andrew Lansley – Shifty character who accepted a £21,000 donation from the chairman of private healthcare provider Care UK, John Nash, to help fund his private office. Now mysteriously looking to increase the use of private health providers within the NHS.
Danny Alexander Danny Alexander – Mastermind behind the £10 billion North Sea Oil Tax Grab which could cost an estimated 40,000 jobs, and he’s a ginger.
Liam Fox Liam Fox – Currently spunking in the region of £200m up the wall in Libya, with the figure predicted to reach around £1bn as allied forces attempt to kill Gaddafi completely by accident.
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