We’d much rather bankrupt the world than pay any tax, argue US Republicans

author avatar by 13 years ago

US Republicans continue to happily push the US towards bankruptcy as they laughed off the latest attempt from Senate Democrats to force them to pay some taxes.

The Democrats’ latest proposal involves raising taxes for the rich while helping the poor and the elderly – a suggestion which appears preposterous to their opponents.

Republican John Boehner explained, “Once again, we completely reject these unrealistic plans which need us to part with some of our millions.”

“They seem to expect us to give up a bit of our endless hordes of cash in an attempt to support those less well-off. Where do they think we are, the UK!?”

“If we can hold off an agreement for just a bit longer, we’ll virtually guarantee getting that non-American out of the White House. A world financial meltdown would be a small price to pay.”

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Republican supporter Dwight Manning told us, “The President makes a compelling argument about asking multi-millionaires and oil companies to pay more tax before asking the elderly to pay more for medical treatment.”

“He’s just seems to have forgotten that most of us Republicans couldn’t give two shits about the well-being of elderly people.”

US debt crisis

President Obama presented a speech on the matter, using quite a lot of challenging vocabulary that 95% of watching Americans failed to understand.

“My fellow Americans, the Republicans have stopped trying to prove I’m not American for long enough to tell us where to shove our latest deficit-reduction plan.”

“They have put forward their own proposal in response, which makes absolutely no sense to anyone – especially to themselves.”

“Some good news is that if Congress carries on like this, in a couple of months there will be no calculator in the world powerful enough to work out the national debt figure.”

“Create the greatest democracy in the worldTM, and this is what you get.”