UK researchers find giant sky fireball clue to sunburn pain

author avatar by 13 years ago

A giant ball of gas and fire, located high in the sky, has been discovered as the primary cause of sunburn pain, according to a team of UK researchers.

Scientists hope this will one-day lead to the creation of public advisory policies that will stop people suffering from sunburn pain, one of the more mysterious human ailments.

Lead researcher Shane Williams told us, “What we have seen is that giant ball of gas, alive with perpetual nuclear reactions, and hotter than anything you can imagine, can cause pain in human skin.

“Generally speaking, people know that fireballs are best avoided, it’s why you don’t see many people walking directing into the middle of explosions.

“And we would hope that this understanding of fireballs will now extend to those fireballs that are a hundred million miles away.  Because, you know, it’s not small, it’s just really, really far away.

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Experts are already warning people to be wary of yet another thing that could affect their health, but believe it advice that is unlikely to taken onboard by the public.

Consultant James Matthews told us, “How about you link the findings to something other than sunburn?  How about shrinking genitals?

“A couple of articles about how the big sky fireball shrinks your junk across the papers, and trust me, sunburn pain will be a thing of the past.”