After 50% of the Jamaican population said the country would be better off if it had remained a British colony, Brits everywhere have urged them to take a closer look at exactly what modern Britain has become.
Only 17% of respondents surveyed disagreed, claiming they knew someone who’d been to Britain and said it was shit.
British person Malcolm Williams said, “Why would anyone want this? We’re skint, a target for lunatic terrorists the world over, and we’re ruled by a dinner club from one the most privileged universities on the planet.”
“They feel their island suffers from poverty and crime? What exactly do they think is going on over here?”
“If there was any way of Basingstoke becoming independent you can bet your arse I’d be pushing for it.”
“The weather would still be crap, but I guarantee we’d have a lot more fun.”
Jamaica 50 years of independence
There is also a growing movement in Jamaica to cut ties to the British Monarchy and make the island a republic.
Malcolm Williams continued, “See, now this I can understand. I’m sure the Jamaicans feel delighted that their Prince Consort is a ninety year old Greek gentlemen with a fine line in casual racism.”