Oceans just need a rebrand, claim management consultants

author avatar by 13 years ago

Leading management consultants have claimed that the only way for the Oceans to halt their decline is to undergo a root and branch rebranding exercise.

Scientists have concluding that issues such as over-fishing, pollution and climate change are acting together to reduce marine wildlife, but consultants have insisted a new logo could be the oceans’ saviour.

Management consultant Marcus Shilling told us, “Think about it, the word Ocean is derived from the word ‘Oh’ and ‘Shun’ – both heavy with negative connotations.  They were doomed to fail.”

“We would suggest a world-wide relaunch following a heavy period of focus group activity to choose a name dripping with vibrancy and excitement.”

“Our early work shows that the words ‘Magipond’ and ‘Waterocity’ should provide the image we’re looking to portray.”

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Oceans declining

Leading marine conservationist Professor Simon Williams said  a rebrand was unlikely to work, telling us, “I fail to see how putting a new name on it will stop everything dying.”

“That said, I do have a strange desire to spend time in the Magipond, especially now there aren’t any fish in it.”

Marcus Shilling concluded, “See, told you.  Right, that’ll be fifty grand.  Thanks.”

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