Failing primary schools set to become failing academies

author avatar by 13 years ago

Two hundred of England’s worst-performing primary schools will be closed next year and re-opened as England’s worst performing academies, the government has said.

Education Secretary Michael Gove insisted that parents sending their children to an academy rather than a primary schools would have the peace of mind associated with something that sounds a bit posh.

“Renaming something is a tried and tested way of improving something,” Mr Gove said.

“People were sceptical when Marathons became Snickers and Opal Fruits became Starburst, but I think it’s clear that these were much improved as a result – despite being essentially the exact same product.”

Academy shmademy

The National Union of Teachers accused Mr Gove of “breathtaking ignorance” in his belief that changing the name of primary schools to academies would improve standards.

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“Anyone who remembers Coco Pops changing their name to Choco Krispies back in 1998 will know that changing the name of something doesn’t alweays guarantee improvement.” said general secretary Christine Blower.

“UK sales fell, and 92% of the public voted for the name to be changed back.”

“I find it hard to believe that Mr Gove isn’t aware of this.”

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