The British Board of Film Classification has said it was left with no choice but to ban Human Centipede 2, after the original film encouraged hundreds of movie-goers to stitch people together from mouth to anus.
The original Human Centipede featured a crazed scientist who kidnapped three people and stitched them together mouth-to-anus to create the creature of the title, a scene which all viewers were compelled to repeat at home.
A BBFC spokesperson said, “After the original film was released, hospitals across the country were inundated with patients claiming to have accidentally stitched their mouths to the anus of a friend.”
“It put a huge drain on the NHS, and we simply can’t afford to see mouth to anus home surgeries skyrocket once again.”
“I’m sure people will realise we are only protecting them from the uncontrollable urge they would have felt to stitch their mouth to the anus of the person sitting next to them.”
Harmless mouth to anus fun
The film’s creators have insisted the film should be released, claiming that the sharp rise in mouth to anus surgeries is a complete coincidence.
Director Tom Six told reporters, “Just because we made a film about stitching people’s mouths to the anuses of other people doesn’t mean every mouth to anus operation is our fault.”
“People have been stitching their mouths to anuses for centuries, and our film is nothing more than social comment on that.
Film fan James Perkins had the final word, telling us, “Look, if we’re going to start banning things because they have an adverse affect on our society, is there any possible way we can link falling school standards to anything involving Katie Price?”