Government urges welfare claimants to listen to Judas Priest albums backwards

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The government has taken further steps to reduce the number of people claiming benefits by urging them to listen to Judas Priest albums backwards, in the hope that the subliminal messages contained within the tracks will prompt them to take their own lives.

A group of organisations, including charity Mind, have expressed concerns after incapacity benefit claimants phoning their local benefits office for advice were subjected to Judas Priest’s 1978 album Stained Class, playing in reverse.

Secretary of State for Work and Pensions Iain Duncan Smith has defended the move amid mounting criticism.

“We are all faced with difficult choices,” he insisted.”I have to decide whether to have Châteauneuf-du-Pape with my Beef Wellington or a nice Cabernet Sauvignon.”

“People on benefits have to decide whether to get a job or kill themselves.”

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“After all, we’re all in this together.”

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Some Liberal Democrats have hit out at the use of heavy metal to reduce the volume of claimants, as they attempt to assert their influence on government.

“It’s outrageous that the Conservatives should tell people to play Judas Priest records backwards in the hope that they will commit suicide.”blasted one backbencher

“Surely it would be simpler to make them listen to James Blunt albums forwards.”